I lost my husband (Terry Skeels) to Pancreatic Cancer 3 months and 15 days ago. 

It happened very quickly Terry collapsed on September 11th 2018 and passed away on the 21st December 2018. We had no time to make any last memories or have any happy times. Terry went through hell and i did all i could to help and nurse him through it all with help and support of my children, sister, family and friends. 

I have been writing down my thoughts since Terry passed, and my son said maybe it would be a good idea to do a blog, and to share my grief with other people. Tonight i have had a panic attack and just felt i had to do something to get me through, but hopefully one day i will get some happiness back into my life.

I am trying to be brave and doing different things which i will write about in this blog, i am hoping it will help me and anyone else who reads this and needs some help or reassurance with their grief. I am sure there are thousands of people out there going through some form of grief, it would be great if this helped in any way.

For the last three months and 15 days i have been riding a wave, and at this very moment i am drowning and fighting hard to get my head back above water.