I have not had a good couple of weeks (Not as bad as I had at the beginning) but my thoughts are all about Terry.

I went to see my friend on Canvey the other day and my anxiety was through the roof.

I drove onto the the island, looked at the sea wall and just thought of Terry and myself walking along it, like we used to all the time. It was a real flashback, it made me feel physically sick. Took me ages to shake off the feeling.

I just feel like I will never stop crying. I tried to put on a good show in front of people but it’s so hard.