I had not had a good week, but had been to work and be as normal as I could be.

I woke up on the Thursday morning and knew I couldn’t go to work, I texted my boss Karen explaining i couldn’t even lift my head off the pillow. I cried all day and I mean sobbed. When I wasn’t crying, the tears just keep coming from my eyes I couldn’t stop them.

I can’t even explain how I felt, I really just wanted to go to bed and never get up again.

At one stage I got Terrys ash’s cuddled them and cried so much, I asked him to help me, I was so lost and didn’t know what to do. I told him I needed to get the house sold and move back near everyone.

My boss knocked at about 7pm, she had come to see how I was, bless her.

I opened the door in my old nightie with red eyes and crying, Karen sat with me for an hour and chatted about everything, she asked if there was anything she could do to help.

There is nothing anyone can do to help when a wave of grief comes on, like that.

I really think I had a mini breakdown, it was the worst.