Last Friday i went to a Christmas Works party with the ladies i used to work in Canvey Island. Which wss very nice of them to invite me.
But oh my good i had the worst anxiety and flashbacks.
I drove to Southend, and has soon as i hit Billericay which is where i used to work when i lived in Southend the anxiety started.
I all of a sudden felt like i was going home to Terry, just liked i used to every night after work. It was so weird. Then the flasbacks started; then the tears. I had to actually drive pass my old house. But i am not joking as i got to the house my Samm rang. So i started to tell her and she talked me through it.
I went to the Christmas party for a few hours then left. As i drove home i thought i am going another way, which took me passed Southend hospital. I look up at the building it was dark and the lights were bright in the wards. The tears started again. 😓 I wonder if i will ever be myself again? I hope so 💔

Terry and me in our garden when we lived in Southend, he loved it there.