OMG I don’t know what happened to me last week. I must have cried for three quarters of it. There is just no stopping the tears, when they come.

But the worst was the weekend, I went to my sister’s Saturday and was supposed to be staying overnight. We had a family party Saturday and a music festival Sunday in a local park.

I had anxiety about slepping at my sister’s, just because I don’t sleep much anymore and it’s even harder when your not in your own home.

But we went the party, I didn’t drink. When we got back to Trudys she went to bed and me and Mitchell my (Brother-In-Law) sat up talking.

Well Mitchell started talking about Terry, he really misses him. I got so emotional and just broke down. I just had to get home. I drove home cried all the way, and broke down again when I got in. I did sleep, I think with pure exhaustion.

Sunday I went back to my sister’s to go to the festival. We got there and our friends turned up and I just could not stop the tears. No one saw, I hope.  I had sunglasses on and just sat quietly. Being with other couples and being on your own really brings it home to me even more then usual.