Listen I want to make it clear I am not making Terry out to be a saint or anything, he had his faults and I had mine (I know I had a lot more.)

But I loved this man so much and he should never have suffered the way he did.

From the day he found out he had cancer he was never the same, he was so scared at first – he said he would have any treatment and do anything to get better, but as time went on that changed.

When we went to see the oncologist two weeks after we found out, (I will never for get that day) Myself Terry and my daughter Samm went. The doctor with a nurse just breezed into the room sat down and told Terry that he could have treatment but it would be for six moths and it would be every ten days with two lots of chemotherapy and then he would go home with a large cylinder with drugs in which he would have to pump into his self for a further two days.  We were told the side effects which were horrendous.

Terry asked how long this would give him and he was told six months – he then asked how long he had and was told around six months (He only got three in the end)

I will never forget how calm Terry was and how much Samm was crying (Terry told me off for letting Samm come and letting her get upset like that) So Terry shook the hand of the doctor and said  “Thank you but no thank you, I don’t see the point of me suffering and putting my wife through so much for the six months I have anyway” and that was that.  The doctor said ok and left the room that is just how it happened seems so surreal now.

From that day on the pain got worst – and he spent most of his time in bed – I would take the dinning room chair in the bedroom and sit by the bed and talk to him about old times and try to tell him not to worry about me all the time.

Once when he was really ill he asked me to help him end it – of course when he felt a bit better he cried and told me how sorry he was to ask me to do that.  In the end he wanted to go it was so hard to watch.

Through it all – all his pain suffering and knowing he didn’t have long to live – all he worried about was me.

He would talk to my children and sister about looking after me and making sure I was ok, he made sure I had the money for his funeral in a locked money box under the bed (So old school)

Terry changed everything into my name he could – he actually made sure he did not need a will – as always in life he made sure I was ok – he also through his pain, made sure I would be fine when he was not here.  That shows the kind of man he was – always kind – never ran people down – always tried to see the best in everyone. Anyone who knows Terry would tell you the same.